05/15/2013

Things here are good.  Hannah is on room air and doing beautifully. She is pretty exhausted, I think from the one dose of Chemotherapy she had that put her in the ICU. The side effects of these drugs come in waves.  They categorize them as immediate, delayed, and after treatment.  This is kind of a delayed effect, you know, kind of sleepy.  But she is very comfortable and pleasant.  She still eats absolutely nothing, which concerns me a little.  I feel she should be gaining a bit of an appetite, but I do know the leukemia causes a loss in appetite too. 

We took the canulla off yesterday (we had kept it there as a precaution in case she needed it again) so all she has attached to her now is just her "tubey" and her iv fluids to her line.  It's great!  She got out of bed and took a little stroll around the room yesterday completely unhooked from everything.  It was fun! 

Her gut is kind of messed up with all of the antibiotics she has been on causing some pretty extreme diarrhea.  They have taken her down to two antibiotics and we hope she can soon get off from those.  It will be discussed in rounds this morning. 

The struggle to know what to do - whether to start the chemo or whether to take her home and go with a naturopathic approach is still the big question.  We came to a vantage point the other day (I think it was Monday) when she started having that bone pain and I decided we should probably go ahead with the hard core reinduction chemo.  So they moved us to the floor, I think I already told you all of this, but what I haven't told you is that all that day, after I told them to prepare for the chemo, I had the darkest feeling.  I just could not shake it.  I really thought that once I made a real decision I would be at peace.  Not to be.  I struggled with such despair I was just paralyzed.  Finally I called Mark and told him to come back.  I just could not let them do it to her for some reason.  He said for me to tell them not to do anything till he got here and he had a chance to talk with them about a "take home" plan.  So he came up yesterday and got here just after morning rounds, wherein I had told them to stop the chemo (which they had scheduled to begin within a few hours) .  They were a little taken aback at my flip-flopping, but they recalled the orders and put the chemo on hold. 

After Mark arrived we discussed my feelings and by the way, he had been fasting for an answer, but had not really been able to discern any real clear signal.  We prayed and counseled with each other and had a very peaceful feeling come over us that we should bring her home.  So we had a consult with the attending last evening and they are meeting with me today with the "take home" plan. 

We are finally at peace about it.  Last night was the best night so far.  We felt the comfort of the Holy Ghost more than we have since her rediagnosis.  So it looks like we will be coming home!  I can't really tell you exactly when until after my meeting today and we determine what is needed as far as therapy before we go, but I don't think it will be very long.  I'll let you know. 

I am studying all kinds of alternative treatments and it is interesting how many of the alternative methods I have previously studied through the years.  I am pretty familiar with the protocols involving vitamin C, vitamin B17 and calcium.  The Gerson diet is another one I spent some time on when I was studying.  So I really feel strongly that the Lord has been stacking up the bricks for a while.  The more I settle into the take-home plan the better I feel about it.  I am so thankful for the peace that has finally come.

So....I will keep you posted on what comes next.  It was wonderful to have Mark and Holly here yesterday, I even left the hospital for an hour or so and went over to the Goodwill up in the University District and did some browsing around.  It was nice to be able to get my mind off from this situation.  And it was actually the first time I have been able to mentally break from it.  I know it is because we have finally received the answer. 

Whatever happens with my Hannah, I know things will be okay.  Heavenly Father is guiding and comforting us and we feel his kind influence. 

 

Cindy